Note: This is a comedic song I wrote for the pseudo-band I have with my friend Noah Smith and anyone else who happens to be there to play instruments that day. (Though they only jam then, the songs are only played when Noah's in his room by himself for some reason...) Anyway, here it goes. This one is supposed to be sung fast, preferrably in some kind of odd accent.

There's this girl named Sally, and I wish she was mine,

That probably won't happen since I'm drunk all the time

Line one up, chug another one down,

Usually pass out in the middle of town

Anyway, this girl Sally, I met her one night.

When I was layed out in an alley after a hell of a fight

She walked up, as cute as could be,

Said, "Man, you stink like 3 week old pee."

I said, "That ain't me, honey, it's this alley that stinks.

So why don't you help me up and buy me some drinks?"

Line one up, chug another one down

Usually pass out in the middle of town

So Sally and I went back to the bar

And I began to wonder if this would go far

I couldn't remember ever feelin' that way

Would I get laid this glorious day?

I lined one up, chugged another down

But when I turned to Sally, she wasn't around

Yeah, that girl Sally, I wish she was mine

I'd like to look her up, but I don't have the time

Maybe some day I'll meet a girl who's like me

Only drinkin' could make her happy

We'll sit at the bar together, get drunk every night

But no matter what, we won't have fist fights

We'll line drinks up, and chug drinks down

Pass out together, in the middle of town