Big Trouble In Little Haddonfield

Here's a teaser for Halloween: Big Trouble in Little Haddenfield!

(scene opens on a dark and stormy night.  Camera focuses on a pair of
headlights which turn out to be a big truck.  It is the Pork Chop Express.
Scene shifts to the monologue spoken by the overly macho driver)

Jack:(on his CB) Yep, ol' Jack Burton knows when it's time to call it a day
when he enters a town, delivering hamdingers to the unwary and sees cats and
dogs living together and all sorts of mass hysteria!

(Camera POV shows truck entering Haddenfield)

Jack: You never know what life deals you until you spread the cards out and
seperate the twos and threes from the king of clubs, and by then some Bob
Saget wannabe shakes the pillars of heaven with his full house!  But, you
know what ol' Jack Burton says when the chips are down..........Yeah, ol'
Jack Burton says (Close up on Kurt Russel)........What the hell..........

(scene goes black.  Theme music starts)

Dimension Films presents

(scene opens with Jack and Dr. Loomis running after his vehicle)

Dr. Loomis: Oh my GOD!!!  Michael Myers has returned!

Jack:  Hey, buddy!!  What're you doing with my truck??!!

(scene goes black)

A Moustapha Akkad production

(scene shows Tommy Doyle and Kara Strode next to Jack as he fixes a tire on
his truck.  Michael is slowly walking towards them)

Tommy: Hurry, Jack, He's gonna kill us!!

Kara:  Oh, NO!!

Jack: Relax, gang, I got this thing licked (looks up and sees Michael)  Aw,
man!!  Didn't we just run over this guy?

(they start running)

Kara:  Looks like he got better!

Jack:  Hey, you touch my truck and there'll be hell to pay!!

(scene goes black)

Narrator: Haddenfield is about to have the showdown of the century between
good........

(POV shows Jack in his truck going full speed, blaring his horn)

...........and evil

(POV shows Michael on the road, armed with just a big knife)

Jack: YEEEEEEHAAAAAAA!!!!! (Truck rams Michael)
 

Narrator:  Starring.......

Donald Pleasence

(scene shows Loomis and Jack at the library)

Loomis:  I think I may have discovered Michael's weakspot!  We can end the
evil once and for all!

Jack: How's that gonna get my truck back??

Narrator: Marianne Hagan as Kara Strode.....

(POV shows Kara and Tommy in a sewer, running from Michael)

Kara: Where's Jack??  JACK!??

Tommy: (looks around)  Michael got him....

(Jack pops up from the waist deep water, scaring them both)

Jack: Relax, it's me.....now let's go find my truck!!

Narrator: Paul Rudd as Tommy Doyle

(POV shows Tommy and Loomis barricading a door)

Tommy: Doc, we gotta stop him!!

Loomis: There's only one man who can save us now......

(scene ends as michael hacks through the door with an axe)

Narrator: and Kurt Russell as Jack Burton.

(Jack is on the street, walking away from the Myers house)

Jack:Trick or Treat!  (House blows up behind him)

Narrator: Coming this fall to a theatre near you........John Carpenter's

Big Trouble in Little Haddenfield

(final scene shows Jack, Tommy, Kara, and Loomis surrounded by Thorn
cultists.  The MiB approaches them)

MiB: You are all doomed!  You shall suffer the wrath of Thorn!!

Jack: (very cocky)  We could go on like this all night, pal!  It ain't
gettin us nowhere...........Yep, you know what ol' Jack Burton would say at
a time like this......

MiB: Who?

Jack: (annoyed) Jack Burton!  ME!

(Michael Myers brushes past the cultists to face Jack)

Jack: Jack Burton says..........ah, what the Hell!...........

(scene goes black)

Big Trouble in Little Haddenfield!!!  rated PG-13
 
 

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