HALLOWEEN H19:  THE COMPOUND FOR DISTILLED WATER


DISCLAIMER:  I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO H6.  THAT PRIVILEGE BELONGS TO
THE BUM WHO LIVES IN THE DUMPSTER BEHIND DIMENSION STUDIOS.

MATT SEZ:  THIS IS THE MUCH TALKED ABOUT PREQUEL TO H20 IN WHICH
EVERYTHING IS SUPPOSED TO BE EXPLAINED.
 

HALLOWEEN H19:  THE COMPOUND FOR DISTILLED WATER

WRITTEN BY MATT.  RE-WRITTEN, RE-WRITTEN, AND RE-WRITTEN BY JOE
CHAPPELLE.
 

FADE IN
EXT. OLD DIRT ROAD-NIGHT

OCTOBER 30, 1997

A jeep comes rolling down the road, kicking dust up at the cameras it
passes.

INT. JEEP

KARA STRODE
Tommy!  We've been driving around for two years!  I really need to go
to the bathroom!

TOMMY DOYLE
Hold on....

He finishes off his 90th cup of coffee for the day and throws it out
the window.

KARA(holding a camera)
Look, Steven can tie his shoes all by himself now!

TOMMY
I can't stop now!  It's the night before Halloween, and the Thorn
symbol is out!

Tommy points to a random number of stars in the sky.

TOMMY
At least I think so.  It's not as if I can play Connect-the-dots like
on my computer.

INT. SMITH'S GROVE SANITARIUM-SAME TIME

DR. WYNN(talking to someone we can't see)
They tried to destroy you, they tried to destroy us, even you tried to
destroy us!  What the hell was  that stunt you pulled with that five
foot long butter knife?!  Anyway, I know they couldn't destroy us.
They haven't figured out my secret.  I use Energizers!

Wynn grabs the batteries out of the Energizer Bunny.  They camera pans
around to show Michael Myers as Wynn shoves the batteries into his back.

WYNN
Don't worry, though.  I've recruited some all new members!

Wynn swings open a nearby door.  A bunch of cardboard stand-up "Star
Trek" characters wearing  cult uniforms are on the other side.

WYNN
Now let's move,  we got a two-year-old kid to capture, cult member
Spock!

OCTOBER 31, 1997

The jeep is parked at a gas station.

INT. JEEP

KARA
Tommy.

TOMMY
Yeah?

KARA
I was just wondering....

TOMMY
Yeah?

KARA
Just where are we going, anyway?

TOMMY
French Fry Land.

KARA
Huh?

TOMMY
That's what the map says.

KARA
Tommy, that map came from McDonald's.  We got it with Danny's Happy
Meal.

Kara turns to the back seat.

KARA
Ya okay back there, Danny?

DANNY
The Voice Man is coming!

KARA
Alright.

TOMMY
He's after us!  We gotta hurry, it's a long drive to French Fry Land!

KARA
I got a better idea.  Let's go find Laurie Strode and see if we can
get her grandson to her.

TOMMY
Laurie Strode?  I thought she was dead.

KARA
Me too, but I just had this sudden relavation that she still might be
alive!  I know that if I were running from a psycho killer, I'd go to
California.

TOMMY
California it is!

Unknown to the group, a black van appears behind the jeep.

INT. VAN

CLOSE UP ON WYNN

WYNN
Okay, Michael.  There are lots of people here, so I want you to
apprehend the kid while creating as less uproar as possible.
Understand.....Michael?...

The camera zooms back to show that Michael is long gone, already
trying to break into the jeep.

DANNY
Mommy!!!!!!!

The jeep tips over and Tommy goes flys out the windshield.  Michael
grabs Kara's hair and starts lift her up out of the jeep when Tommy
jumps onto the jeep and blows a hole in the Shape's chest with an
elephant gun.  Myers goes flying back.  The jeep tips back upright and
runs over Michael as it drives away.

INT. JEEP

KARA
Whoa!  He almost had us!

TOMMY
Yeah, luckily I found that loaded elephant gun strapped to that tree.

Suddenly, Wynn's van smashes in to the back of the jeep.  Benny Hill
music plays on the soundtrack as Wynn leans out the window and shoots
the back of the jeep with his machine gun.  The two cars go round and
round in circles.  The jeep quickly turns to the left and the van
crashes into a brick wall and explodes.  Wynn falls out, jumps up and
down, and shakes his fist as the jeep as it drives away.

5 MINUTES LATER

They arrive in California.

TOMMY
Okay, if I were looking for someone who completely changed their
identity, where would I look?.....the phone book!

Tommy runs into a phone booth and opens the phone book.  "Laurie
Strode" has been crossed out and "Keri Tate" has been written beside
it in crayon.

EXT. TATE HOUSE-NIGHT

KERI TATE(answering the door)
Yes?

TOMMY
It's you!

KERI
Huh?

KARA
Laurie Strode!  You're alive!  We've brought your grandson home to
you.  His name is Steven.

KERI
Grandson?!

JOHN STRODE(from inside the house)
I didn't do anything!

TOMMY
Laurie, this is your daughter's son.  Remember Jamie?

KERI
Jamie?

KARA
Why doesn't she remember?!

VOICE(from behind the two)
Because Steven's an alien.

Tommy and Kara look behind them to see Tommy Lee Jones step in front
of them and zap Keri with his little Memory-B-Gone thing.  She falls
to the floor, asleep.

MR. JONES
I'll explain everything if you just give the kid.

Suddenly, Steven transforms into a squid-like alien and starts beating
the crap out of Tommy in the background while Tommy Lee Jones and Kara
talk in the foreground.

MR. JONES
We've been after Jamie for years.  But ever since the Thornies killed
her we've swiched to her son.

TOMMY(getting pounded with the jeep)
HEEEEEEEELLLLLPPP!

MR. JONES
So anyway, I'll just be erasing your memory now and be off with Steven.

Just then, Wynn and the Shape come riding up on go carts.

WYNN
Not so fast, you humanoid!

KARA
Give it up, Wynn.  Don't you remember?  All your cultists were killed
for no reason two years ago!

WYNN
No, you forgot about the one that didn't get killed....

Mrs. Bankenshep slowly waddles into the shot.

MRS. BLANKENSHEP
I'll get you, you wipper snapper.

Blankenshep lifts her cane and tried to hit Kara, then falls down.
Tommy's head is being beaten like a punching bag in the background.

TOMMY
CAN'T ANYONE HEAR ME!!!!!

WYNN
Do'h!

Wynn reaches into his robe and takes out a giant rod with the Thorn
symbol on the end.  He plunges it into the ground and he becomes a
big, giant, stupid looking rubber Power Ranger monster.  Tommy Lee
Jones takes out a giant gun and blows a hole in the suit.  Wynn goes
flying all over like a deflating balloon.  Tommy walks into the shot.

TOMMY
I'm all better.

Michael Myers grabs Tommy by the neck and tries to strangle him.

MR. JONES
Ah yes, Mr. Myers.  This is a special case.  There is only one way to
stop him.

He takes out a big led pipe and taps Michael on the forehead.  Michael
goes flying up into the sky shooting green crap from his head and
lands some where in Asia.

MR. JONES
There, It'll take him a year to get back here.  Let's go home and
forget about it.

Big letters come up on the screen like in "Back to the Future Part 2"
that say "To Be Continued"

ROLL END CREDITS
 
 

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