by J. Smith
and THE POODLE
One day, Parker Posey, Rebecca Gayheart, and Rose McGowan were walking down the street. Parker is also walking her Poodle on a leash.
Parker--Well, today....... was cool.
Rose--I am so FUCKING tired!
They all pass by a warehouse, when suddenly the back door swings open with a BANG!
Parker, Rebecca, and Rose all withdraw their guns from their purses.
The figure in the doorway screams.
Voice--Don't shoot I'm only seventeen!
The figure emerges from the darkness, revealing herself to be none other than Martha Meeks!!!!!!
The three girls all make a face of absolute repulse.
Rose--Open fire on the FUCKER!
The three begin shooting at Martha.
They quit firing when they see Martha waving a white flag in the air. A bullet hole is enlodged in her left leg. She stumbles to them.
Parker--Who.....the hell.....are you?
Martha--I'm Martha Meeks! I came to show you all a video....
Rose--Why the FUCK would we want to see your FUCKING video?
Rebecca--Ugh.....girl, you need some Noxzema!
Martha looks at Rebecca.
Martha--Rebecca! Don't you remember me from your hometown Honey Suckel located down south by the Smokey Mountains?
Martha--Well, we all miss you in Honey Suckel.
Rose--Get the FUCK away from us!
Martha holds up her videotape.
Martha--But I have something to show you!!!!
Rose grabs the videotape and throws it to the ground.
Parker--This....is what we think....of your videotape.....bitch!
Parker begins stomping on it with her highheals. Martha shrieks. The three girls cover their ears in pain.
Rose raises her gun.
Rose--For that, you're going to FUCKING die!
Martha screams again and begins running away!
Martha begins crossing the road.....when suddenly a red corvette driven by the Ghostfaced killer from Scream 3 comes along and CRASHES right into her.
Martha goes flying into the air as Parker, Rose, and Rebecca watch in awe.
She lands in a small puddle of mud. She is bloody, mangled, and half-alive.
Suddenly, a phone line ZAPS as sparks fly from the pole. The wire snaps off, and falls....surprisingly....directly into the mud puddle!
Martha stands as electricity bolts through her body, causing her to shake violently. Finally, she falls over dead with a SPLASH.
Suddenly, a steam roller drives by, and flattens Martha to the size of a pancake. The heroic steam roller driver happily waves at Parker, Rebecca, and Rose as he continues on his journey.
Rebecca--She is now.
Then, the poodle goes to the puddle, lifts his leg, and pees all over the remains of the morbidly dead Martha Meeks.
The End! :)